( Everyday Life with Autism )

Family gatherings are around the corner! Most people love to celebrate traditions and keep cultures. Soon you’ll receive many invitations to join lunches, dinners, parties with your family and friends. Parents with kids on the autism spectrum, tend to decline these invitations and find an excuse to escape all kinds of gatherings. As much as you love people and miss them, you probably still remember the day when your child threw a tempter tantrum last Thanksgiving or Christmas Day at your parents’ house over a noisy crowd, or an unbearable taste or smell of a certain food.

This year you are not going to turn down invitations. It is simple. You love people, you care about them and you miss them. You are born to be part of this human network. Instead, this year, you are going to have a good plan to celebrate holydays with your folks.

Here are some tips

• Prepare your child ahead of time. Tell her about the visit you are planning on taking her to. It is a well-known fact that individuals on the autism spectrum, including adults, are rigid and have difficulty adapting to unexpected changes in their routine.
• Tell your host that you may have to leave early due to your child’s needs. People become more understanding and cooperative when prepared.
• Know that short visits can still be fun and enjoyable.
• Ask for more details about the setting you’ll be in with your child. This will allow you to prepare for all sensory integration issues that might be triggered.
• Be aware of the safety of the place you are going to. Is there a swimming pool? open gates? or any access to the road?
• For a loud and noisy crowd, you may bring earplugs, headset, or earbuds to keep your child busy with some iPad/computer games.
• Take your child’s favorite, pillow, blanket, food and toys along. It will be very soothing and comforting for your child to have access to her security items.
• You can disappear with your child and have a ten or fifteen minutes power nap. This can save you and unnecessary temper tantrum. You know your child best, don’t wait until it materializes.
• If your child is rather flexible with new smells, big crowds, bright lights, dark lightings, loud noises, hugging and touching, pets, changes in routine,…take advantage of the gathering opportunity. Help her socialize and interact with people. Initiate the process by introducing your family members and friends. Be a dialogue intermediator/facilitator. Talk only about your child’s strengths. She will be encouraged to keep the conversation going.
• Give your child a chore at this gathering. This will help her feel part of the group. Besides, a responsibility makes the child feel dependable and accountable. Consequently, the child will thrive to bring out and show the best of her. It is an amazing feeling of accomplishment. Depending or her age and abilities, the child may help serving easy items, collect empty cups, glasses, plates,…She may recycle empty containers, packaging,…
• If other kids are at the gathering encourage your child to interact and play with them. It is a golden chance to network and hone some social skills. She can also share toys, games,…Now it is the perfect timing to use the board games you brought along.
• To give yourself a chance to catch up with your family members and friends, you may consider taking a babysitter with you. A close family member or friend may also be willing to help.

Why shouldn’t you miss these gathering opportunities?

• You are a social being and you can not live in isolation. Having a strong social support keeps depression and despair away.
• If you go to these gatherings you will realize that it is finally not as bad as you thought. You may end up enjoying every minute of it.
• Gatherings allow you to recharge your batteries and reconnect by maintaing relationships you have neglected since your child’s diagnosis.
• At these gatherings your child will be exposed to new settings and will meet new people. She will be given the opportunity to connect with the community. Gatherings are great social experiences for your child.
• Gradually, she will accept changes much easier and becomes more sociable.
• Not only you and your child will benefit from these gatherings, but the others will also be offered the chance to learn more about children with special needs. You are helping “off-the-spectrum community” to drop the stigma and take a different perspective.

Enjoy the holydays!

nadia shanab

Tags: asperger's syndrome, autism, communication, discipline, flexibility, health, independence, organization, parenting, sensory, social interaction, tips