Be Positive

Nadia Shanab | autism, parenting, tips
24 Jun 2010

When you tell a child — especially with special needs — “don’t“, you leave her/him with no options. When you give an alternative or a substitute, you are giving her/him an opportunity to correct or modify the inappropriate behavior or action.

What should you do?

  • Use the affirmative form instead of the negative form when you talk to the child
  • Tell the child what to do instead of what not to do
  • Make short sentences with five words maximum (the rule of five)
  • Substitute for the undesired behavior or action with the desired one
  • Be specific
  • Use icons and signs

Examples

Instead of “Don’t run” say “Walk”

Instead of “Don’t talk”, “Don’t shout”, “Don’t scream, “Don’t hum, or “Don’t yell”,  say “Be quiet”

Instead of “Don’t pick your nose” say “Quiet hands” or “Hands in lap”

Instead of “Don’t hit”, “Don’t scratch, or “Don’t kick” say “Quiet body” and “Say sorry!”

Instead of “No grabbing, or pulling, or pushing” say “Nice hands” or “gentle hands”

Instead of “Don’t spit” say “Spitting is dirty” or “Be clean”

Instead of “Don’t swing in your chair” say “Chair down” or “Be safe” and point to the problem

Instead of “Don’t be loud” say “Whisper”

Instead of “Don’t snatch” say “Ask can I have it?”

Instead of “Don’t flap your hands” say “Snowball hands”

Using Signs

Some kids have obsessions with certain things like the computers/games or a certain toy or object. To stop the child from using these things when they shouldn’t be put a STOP sign on it.

You can also put a CLOSED sign.

The STOP sign has also helped a lot in classrooms, especially for runners (children who tend to open the door and run away). It would be great to have two STOP signs, one on the door at the children’s vision level and one on the floor right by the door. It can be used wherever you need it.

Similarly, parents can apply the same technique at home, it has been tried out and it was very successful.

Another sign that helps a lot is the Quiet sign. I keep it handy in different spots to have my hand on it whenever I need it.

Please, remember to model whenever you can along with the previous examples.

*Again, it is never enough to emphasize the importance of pictures. Kids with autism have great visual skills.

IMPORTANT NOTE

Please, remember to thank the child every time she/he responds positively to your request. Show appreciation.

For example, if you call on child on the playground to line up and the child obeys, tell her/him “Thank you for coming!” It is very likely that the desired behavior will repeat.

Mrs. A

Tags: , , , ,

40 Comments

  1. Anonymous says:

    I really enjoyed your website. Awesome posts! Please keep posting such profound cotent.

  2. Anonymous says:

    I just wanted to comment and say that I really enjoyed reading your blog post here. It was very informative and I also digg the way you write! Keep it up and I’ll be back to read more in the future

  3. Lyme Disease says:

    I am grateful for this particular excellent guide; this is the sort of fact that makes me though out the day.I’ve been wanting around in your web site just after I learned about these from a friend and was happy when I was able to uncover it right after browsing for a while. Becoming a avid blogger, I’m happy to determine others taking initiative and donating for the neighborhood. I just needed to comment to display my appreciation for the publish as it’s really encouraging, and lots of authors tend not to get the credit they ought to have. I am sure I’ll be back and will send out a few of my acquaintances.

  4. Mrs. A says:

    Thank you so much for your kindness, I appreciate your comment.

  5. stiger says:

    This is such a excellent resource that you’re delivering and also you give it away for zero cost. I take pleasure in seeing sites that understand the worth of offering a prime resource for cost-free. I truly loved reading your post. Thanks!

  6. Mrs. A says:

    You are most welcome!

  7. Troy Acebo says:

    Your Website is very useful. Thank you so much for providing plenty of useful information. I will bookmark your blog siteand will be without doubt coming back. Once again, I appreciate all your work and also providing a lot awesome ideas to the audience.

  8. Clarinda Deschamps says:

    I don’t often reply to posts but I will on this case. WoW

  9. Geraldo Caller says:

    Most of the time I agree

  10. After reading this I thought it was very informative. I appreciate you taking the time and effort to put this post together. Once again I find myself spending way to much time both reading and commenting. But so what, it was still worth it! Legos for girls

  11. game says:

    Hello, I just ran across your blog via aol. and I’m really delighted I found your website. Thank You.

  12. Thanks a lot for this info. 🙂

  13. Mrs. A says:

    You are most welcome:)

  14. Narcissistic says:

    I spend many hours reading blogs and commenting and this blog was really helpful. Thanks.

  15. Mrs. A says:

    Thank very much for your kind comment! I’ll soon add a few forums directly related to the blog’s mission.

  16. Diezel Amps says:

    This place is awesome, I like what you’re doing here. Keep them coming.

  17. Mrs. A says:

    Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

  18. Spring Burright says:

    Just saying thanks will not just be sufficient, for the tremendous lucidity in your writing. I will right away grab your rss feed to stay abreast of any updates.

  19. Mrs. A says:

    Your encouragement will keep me going. Thank you!

  20. Sha Pacelli says:

    The power of positive thinking is completely underrated. Try seeing thing in life the way you want them to be and watch how your world will turn around completely!

  21. Mrs. A says:

    I cannot agree more! Because your positive thinking will help you do anything in your hands to make your dream come true.

  22. http://www.homeinspectionsmassachusetts.com/ says:

    ‘Thank you for this blog. That’s all I can say. You most definitely have made this blog into something thats eye opening and important. You clearly know so much about the subject, youve covered so many bases. Great stuff from this part of the internet. Again, thank you for this blog.”

  23. Mrs. A says:

    Your enocuragement will help this blog expanding. Your comment is highly appreciated.

  24. healthy sites says:

    It?s really a cool and helpful piece of info. I am glad that you shared this helpful information with us. Please keep us informed like this. Thank you for sharing.

  25. codes promos pixmania says:

    I have been browsing online more than 3 hours nowadays, yet I never discovered any fascinating article like yours. It is lovely value enough for me. In my view, if all web owners and bloggers made just right content material as you probably did, the internet will be much more helpful than ever before.

  26. Mrs. A says:

    You made my day!!! Cheers!

  27. Mrs. A says:

    I promise, I’ll keep writing. I appreciate your kind comment.

  28. LifeCell Reviews says:

    Thanks for the article post.Really looking forward to read more. Cool.

  29. günstige gebäudeversicherung finden says:

    Pretty nice post. I just stumbled upon your weblog and wished to mention that I have really loved browsing your weblog posts. After all I’ll be subscribing to your rss feed and I am hoping you write again soon!

  30. Mrs. A says:

    I am so happy you foud my weblog useful. I promise to write again soon. Thank you for your kind words.

  31. laptop notebook says:

    Thank you ever so for you blog article. Really Great.

  32. Mrs. A says:

    You are most welcome! Thank you for your kind comment.

  33. laptop review says:

    xY8bQf Thank you for your post.Much thanks again. Great.

  34. Mrs. A says:

    You are most welcome.

  35. service says:

    c8jioZ Thanks for the article.Really thank you! Awesome.

  36. Mrs. A says:

    You are welcome!

  37. Best Dental Implant Experts in HK says:

    That is really attention-grabbing, You’re an overly professional blogger. I have joined your rss feed and look ahead to in search of more of your great post. Additionally, I have shared your web site in my social networks

  38. Mrs. A says:

    Thank you for the encouraging comment, and thank you for reading.

  39. selling on the internet says:

    Hello there, I discovered your site via Google while looking for a comparable subject, your web site got here up, it looks great. I’ve bookmarked to my favourites|added to my bookmarks.

  40. Nadia Shanab says:

    Thank you very much for your interest in my website. Have a great day!