( Everyday Life with Autism )

Raising children off the autism children is already a challenge. Let alone raising a child with autism or special needs in general.

Life is tough for every member in the family, mom, dad, siblings, and even grandparents cannot always agree on what to do regarding certain issues with your child with autism. The mother may think that her child needs more attention, time, and effort, while the father has a different perspective and believes that his child’s needs are not going to take over the way the household is run.

Each parent struggles to get her/his perspective prevail. And after exhausting all their means to meet and agree on one plan to follow as a family, one of them, or both, may either give up or fall apart a prey of a nervous breakdown or another serious illness. Unfortunately, it is not uncommon to see parents of children with autism separate and divorce. Read Parents in Denial, chapter 2, page 13.

Some of them claim that their life has become calmer and that they have finally found the peace they had missed while being together with their partner. Maybe this holds true because there is no more disputes over how much time, effort, or money was spent on the child’s therapies, help with homework, hygiene, handling a temper tantrum…anymore.

But on the other hand, is it really easier and more sustainable for a single parent to raise a child with autism rather than doing without? To some extend it depends on each particular case. However, knowing what it takes to raise a child with autism, I want to say that having two adults in charge of a child with autism is still safer for everybody. Logistically, life should be more tolerable.

The problem when the couple decides to divorce is that:

Depending on where you live, (country, city, town, or village) do you think that family court counselors and custody evaluator are fully aware of what autism is? What it takes to raise a child with autism? What are the solid calculated bases they are founding their decision on? Is the Judge taking into consideration any special measures given the special need case presented before him, or is the case dealt with as any typically developed child’s case? How can you be definitely be assured that the court’s decision will be in your child’s best interest, given the fact that autism (like Information Technology cases previously) are still new to courts? Any history or precedented cases to refer to?

Tip

Think twice before you head this direction. There are so much do to find a balance a compromise to continue living under the same roof. There is nothing more important for any child than growing up surrounded by her or his parents. Living in the nuclear family will affect her future for the rest of her life. It is a big asset that cannot easily be let squandered.

In the next post I’ll suggest some tips for parents to overcome this problem.

nadia shanab