{"id":301,"date":"2010-06-24T23:02:11","date_gmt":"2010-06-25T06:02:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/autism-tips.com\/?p=301"},"modified":"2026-02-25T12:23:31","modified_gmt":"2026-02-25T19:23:31","slug":"be-positive","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/autism-tips.com\/?p=301","title":{"rendered":"Be Positive"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>When you tell a child &#8212; especially with special needs &#8212; &#8220;<strong>don&#8217;t<\/strong>&#8220;, you leave her\/him with no options. When you give an alternative or a substitute, you are giving\u00a0her\/him an opportunity to correct or modify the inappropriate behavior or action.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/autism-tips.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/06\/StatueQuiet.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-323\" title=\"Quiet Mask\" src=\"https:\/\/autism-tips.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/06\/StatueQuiet.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"344\" height=\"416\" srcset=\"https:\/\/autism-tips.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/06\/StatueQuiet.jpg 344w, https:\/\/autism-tips.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/06\/StatueQuiet-248x300.jpg 248w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 344px) 100vw, 344px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><strong>What should you do?<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Use the affirmative form instead of the negative form when you talk to the child<\/li>\n<li>Tell the child what to do instead of what not to do<\/li>\n<li>Make short sentences with five words maximum <strong>(<a href=\"https:\/\/autism-tips.com\/?p=120\" target=\"_self\">the rule of five<\/a><\/strong><strong>)<\/strong><\/li>\n<li>Substitute for the undesired behavior or action with the desired one<\/li>\n<li>Be specific<\/li>\n<li>Use icons and signs<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Examples<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Instead of &#8220;Don&#8217;t run&#8221; say &#8220;Walk&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Instead of &#8220;Don&#8217;t talk&#8221;, &#8220;Don&#8217;t shout&#8221;, &#8220;Don&#8217;t\u00a0scream, &#8220;Don&#8217;t\u00a0hum, or &#8220;Don&#8217;t\u00a0yell&#8221;, \u00a0say &#8220;Be quiet&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Instead of &#8220;Don&#8217;t pick your nose&#8221; say &#8220;Quiet hands&#8221; or &#8220;Hands in lap&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Instead of &#8220;Don&#8217;t hit&#8221;, &#8220;Don&#8217;t\u00a0scratch, or &#8220;Don&#8217;t\u00a0kick&#8221; say &#8220;Quiet body&#8221; and &#8220;Say sorry!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Instead of &#8220;No grabbing, or pulling, or pushing&#8221; say &#8220;Nice hands&#8221; or &#8220;gentle hands&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Instead of &#8220;Don&#8217;t spit&#8221; say &#8220;Spitting is dirty&#8221; or &#8220;Be clean&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Instead of &#8220;Don&#8217;t swing in your chair&#8221; say &#8220;Chair down&#8221; or &#8220;Be safe&#8221; and point to the problem<\/p>\n<p>Instead of &#8220;Don&#8217;t be loud&#8221; say &#8220;Whisper&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Instead of &#8220;Don&#8217;t snatch&#8221; say &#8220;Ask can I have it?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Instead of &#8220;Don&#8217;t flap your hands&#8221; say &#8220;Snowball hands&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Using Signs<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Some kids have obsessions with certain things like the computers\/games or a certain toy or object. To stop the child from using these things when they shouldn&#8217;t be put a <strong>STOP<\/strong> sign on it.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-320\" title=\"Stop Sign\" src=\"https:\/\/autism-tips.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/06\/stop_sign1.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"240\" height=\"240\" srcset=\"https:\/\/autism-tips.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/06\/stop_sign1.png 240w, https:\/\/autism-tips.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/06\/stop_sign1-150x150.png 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 240px) 100vw, 240px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>You can also put a <strong>CLOSED<\/strong> sign.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/autism-tips.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/06\/ClosedSign.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-321\" title=\"Closed Sign\" src=\"https:\/\/autism-tips.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/06\/ClosedSign.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/autism-tips.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/06\/ClosedSign.jpg 400w, https:\/\/autism-tips.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/06\/ClosedSign-300x225.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>The <strong>STOP<\/strong> sign has also helped a lot in classrooms, especially for runners (children who tend to open the door and run away). It would be great to have <strong>two STOP signs<\/strong>, one on the door at the children&#8217;s vision level and one on the floor right by the door. It can be used wherever you need it.<\/p>\n<p>Similarly, parents can apply the same technique at home, it has been tried out and it was very successful.<\/p>\n<p>Another sign that helps a lot is the <strong>Quiet<\/strong> sign. I keep it handy in different spots to have my hand on it whenever I need it.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/autism-tips.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/06\/043950337X_rgb_xlg.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-322\" title=\"Quiet Sign\" src=\"https:\/\/autism-tips.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/06\/043950337X_rgb_xlg.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"230\" height=\"230\" srcset=\"https:\/\/autism-tips.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/06\/043950337X_rgb_xlg.jpg 230w, https:\/\/autism-tips.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/06\/043950337X_rgb_xlg-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 230px) 100vw, 230px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Please, remember to <strong>model<\/strong> whenever you can along with the previous examples.<\/p>\n<p><strong>*<\/strong>Again, it is never enough to emphasize the importance of <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/autism-tips.com\/?p=276\" target=\"_self\">pictures<\/a><\/strong>. Kids with autism have great <strong>visual<\/strong> skills.<\/p>\n<p><strong>IMPORTANT NOTE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Please, remember to <strong>thank<\/strong> the child every time she\/he responds positively to your request. Show appreciation.<\/p>\n<p>For example, if you call on child on the playground to line up and the child obeys, tell her\/him &#8220;Thank you for coming!&#8221; It is very likely that the desired behavior will repeat.<\/p>\n<p>Mrs. A<\/p>\n<p><a class=\"DiggThisButton DiggMedium\" href=\"http:\/\/digg.com\/health\/Everyday_Life_with_Autism_Being_Positive_helps_Autistic_kids\"><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When you tell a child &#8212; especially with special needs &#8212; &#8220;don&#8217;t&#8220;, you leave her\/him with no options. When you give an alternative or a substitute, you are giving\u00a0her\/him an opportunity to correct or modify the inappropriate behavior or action. What should you do? Use the affirmative form instead of the negative form when you &#8230; <a title=\"Be Positive\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/autism-tips.com\/?p=301\" aria-label=\"Read more about Be Positive\">Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":327,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,5,4],"tags":[381,383,16,382,9],"class_list":["post-301","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-autism","category-parenting","category-tips","tag-autism","tag-parenting","tag-techniques","tag-tips","tag-visual-aids"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/autism-tips.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/301","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/autism-tips.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/autism-tips.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/autism-tips.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/autism-tips.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=301"}],"version-history":[{"count":29,"href":"https:\/\/autism-tips.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/301\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2477,"href":"https:\/\/autism-tips.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/301\/revisions\/2477"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/autism-tips.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/327"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/autism-tips.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=301"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/autism-tips.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=301"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/autism-tips.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=301"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}